I have not been dating since I met him.
I wish I could use a little break from the cycle, to give myself some space to discover what i look like and talk like when i am not trying to merge with someone.
It's been one catastrophe after another. How many more different types of men can I keep trying to love and continue to failed?
That is the reason i am hesitant to get involved with someone else now.
I still happen to be in love with him, and I dont think that is fair to the next guy.
We were still hanging around each other a lot, though we hadnt slept together in a long time.
I admit that i am harbored hopes that maybe someday....
I am exhausted by the cumulative consequences of a lifetime of hasty choices and chaotic passions.
The time i left for Taiwan, my body and my spirit were depleted.
I told myself to quit.
Yet my feeling for him remain...complicated
